How it Works
A few helpful definitions and a step-by-step guide to help you navigate Totem.
Key Terms
What are Spaces?
Spaces are small, welcoming gatherings where people come together to share experiences, support one another, and build meaningful connections. Each Space is centered around a specific topic, with guided questions designed to spark reflection, conversation, and deeper understanding.
These structured online groups provide a safe, confidential space for open conversations, where participants can share their perspectives, listen with empathy, and form real relationships.
Each Space has up to 8 participants and lasts about an hour via video call.
What is a Keeper?
Keepers serve as moderators in Spaces, facilitating discussions and ensuring a safe environment. They also participate by sharing their stories and experiences with you.
While not therapists, Keepers undergo intensive training designed by therapists. They provide leadership by asking prompts and encouraging participation, but they do not diagnose or give advice.
What is a Totem?
A Totem is a symbolic object, a virtual talking stick, given to participants when it's their turn to speak.
They receive, and "hold" it while sharing and "pass" it to the next person when finished, ensuring respectful and orderly communication within the group.
How it starts
The Keeper starts with an opening ceremony to bring everybody's attention into the present moment. The opening ceremony can be something like a stretch, breathing exercise, or guided meditation.
Your turn
The Keeper, holding the Totem, initiates by asking the first prompt. After sharing their own experience, they pass the Totem to the next person. When holding the Totem, it's your turn to share; there's no interruption from others.
How it ends
The Keeper ends with a closing ceremony, like a quote, poem, or excerpt from a book, before releasing everybody back to their own lives.
Frequently Asked Questions
Everything you need to know about Totem and how Spaces work.
Totem is completely free. We're a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization dedicated to making peer support accessible to everyone.
Yes! We don't mind if you don't use your real name. You'll need to provide an email for moderation purposes, but other participants won't see your real identity. We do ask that you share authentically during Spaces.
Totem has a zero-tolerance policy against discussing what happens in groups outside the platform—violators face permanent removal. Video call communications are encrypted, so only Space participants can hear your shares.
No, it isn't. While some prefer Totem to traditional therapy, it is not a replacement for traditional one-on-one therapy. However, it can complement existing therapy and deepen your therapeutic work.
Generally no. Keepers facilitate and ensure safety rather than provide professional clinical guidance. They participate as regular members and don't offer therapeutic advice.
Ready to find your people?
Join a Space today and experience the power of genuine human connection. It's free, confidential, and might just change your life.
